this happens way too many times

[brooklyn lane black]

brooklyn was confused about everything now. in the chat room, she had seemed confident that she didn't like zach any more than a best friend, and that he didn't like her that way either. but with each and every little comment seth or carson said, it tore away at her confidence more and more until she was left with nothing. she didn't know anymore. she didn't know if she liked levi or zach. she didn't know if zach liked her. even with seth confronting him about it while she was there, she wasn't sure. boys could be so confusing, and she didn't know who was right anymore. she didn't care about defending herself, making sure that she was right. she just didn't care. she just wanted to know. she wanted to know what was going on in her life, she wanted to know who she really did like, and who zach liked. she wanted all the confusion to just be over. it couldn't be that hard to unconfuse her... right? but with each few minutes she sat down to think about it, each time she tried to figure out exactly what was going on inside her head, she just became more and more confused as to what the answer was. she wished this was something that someone could just sit down and tell her, but no one could. it was a battle that was going on inside her. no one else could tell her which side would win.

she just wanted to hit something, to break out all of her frustration into a few hits. it would make her feel about ten times better. it wouldn't answer, or solve, her problem, but it would help her have a clearer mind for that. she knew that the only thing that was going to help her figure things out was just sitting and thinking. normally she would do whatever she could to make sure that she was right, she would do anything to change the odds of the outcome to be better for her, but this time she just wanted to know the answer. she didn't care if she was wrong. she just wanted the uncertainty to be over. she wanted things to go back to the way they were before this entire school had started getting to her. she didn't know how zach felt, but nowadays she felt like there was a certain amount of awkwardness surrounding them. it was just because of what people were saying, before it hadn't bothered her one bit, but now... she wasn't sure what she thought of zach anymore, and what people kept telling her didn't make it any better.

she'd reached the gym now, and all she wanted to do was kick and punch the crap out of one of the punching bags or dummies. she looked at one, and hauled off and kicked it as hard as she could. it sent it flying a little ways away, and she felt better almost instantly. she kicked it again, sending a new wave of calm through her, and she smiled a little to herself. maybe everything wasn't so bad...

WORD COUNT 524
STATUS complete
LISTENING TO we the kings
TAGGED open
NOTES open to whoever jumps in. (:

[seth paul kennedy]

Too many emotions were threatening to make Seth explode. He really hadn't expected anything else, but he didn't think he'd feel this horrible. Brendon had told him to go die in a ditch. And sure, Seth could understand the anger and disgust, but there had never been this much hatred that he'd gotten from his brother. But then, none of them had ever had girl issues. That is to say, this situation had never come to them before. Seth hated himself for causing this problem in the family. But he couldn't help his feelings. Just like Zach couldn't help dreaming about Carson, even though that was messed up, Seth couldn't cover up his feelings. He didn't even know where they had come from, all he knew was that he really wanted to be with Carson. And, in all oddness, she wanted to be with him too. Still, his brother was really mad, and Seth had a bad feeling about what would happen next. Brendon was very unpredictable, so Seth was at a loss at what to do. But he was a horrible liar, so the truth would have come out eventually. Seth just wished that he'd been able to keep his mouth shut and let Carson explain. But that was also wrong. Brendon had deserved to know what was going on, at least on Seth's side. And the rest of the story had just come with it.

And Seth was incredibly guilty, for having these feelings. But he didn't know where they had come from or why. All he knew now, was that he was crushing hard on Carson. Whatever else was going on seemed less significant than knowing that she liked him too. As long as he knew she felt the same way, he could handle the guilt, the sadness, the terrible anger of Brendon. He would do that, since he had a hope that soon it would be over, and he could be happy. Seth had never really tried to date before, so this would be a new experience, if he ever survived Brendon's wrath. Seth sighed and headed in the direction of the gym. He needed to keep himself in shape, and this was a good place where he could just think, and let his energy all out on some targets. That was a good way of getting himself a little less worried. Well, the gym or coffee, and Seth wasn't in the mood to go to starbucks again since he had been there at least 3 times in the last week. He would be losing money waayyy too fast if he kept it up. Seth didn't want that, so that was why he was heading toward the gym instead. Still, he was an addict of coffee, so maybe it was a good thing that he was starting to limit himself from going all the time.

Entering the gym, he sighed softly, sort of glad to see the different targets he could hit and focus his muscles on. Because he did have quite nice muscles, but lately his focus had been a lot less on keeping himself in shape. So now, he had more reason to be in here than he thought. Seth stopped for a moment as he was going to head to his favorite target as he recognized the dark-haired girl beating on something herself. Seth did feel a bit guilty about that. He had just continued on his theory that she liked his little brother Zach. He thought it was an obvious explanation, but she had been very opposed to it. Still, it had been a bit rude of Seth to be like that, so he was definitely going to apologize to her. And, he did sort of want to know Zach's best friend a bit more. His eyebrows furrowed a bit as he watched her knock the target across the gym and then smile. Maybe he should leave her alone. But he did want to talk to someone, and she was there. Besides, he had to be nicer. "Hi Brook. Listen, I just wanted to apologize about the annoying way I was in the chatroom. It was uncalled for, and I'm very sorry." Seth spoke with a nervous smile, hoping that she understood that he truly meant it. He didn't feel good about upsetting people, it wasn't right.

tagged: Brooklyn Black
status: done!
words: 751 without code
notes: hope this is good.

[brooklyn lane black]

the world felt like it was spinning far too fast for brooklyn to make sense of any of it. she usually had a good grasp on who she was and what she was feeling. it all had vanished without a moment's notice with the confusing yet convincing words that came from both seth and carson. she wasn't sure what she actually wanted anymore. she just knew what other people thought she wanted. to her it felt like those people wanted her to be with zach, just because it would make sense to them. it didn't make any sense to her though, she didn't think she felt anything for her best friend other than just friendship. although after the poking and prodding by everyone else, she wasn't so sure anymore. she didn't know how she would ever really be sure of herself ever again. especially not when two people could tear down her resolve in a matter of minutes. she couldn't be sure who was actually right, her or the new happy couple. she heard the small amount of bitterness in her own thoughts, and immediately wanted it to go away. she was mad at them for confusing her, and a little mad for them screwing with brendon's mind, but she was happy for them. happy that at least someone in this school had gotten what they wanted.

there wasn't anything for her to do but hit the bag again and again, beating down the bag to get rid of all her own anger and frustration pent up inside her. normally music did the trick, but today she was just in a far more destructive mood. after all, who didn't like punching things from time to time. she just didn't know what to do about the rumors and what people continued to beat into her head each and every day. she liked zach, zach liked her, and she'd thank them for telling her that when she was walking down the aisle. the end. there was no breathing room in what people tried to convince her was true, no room for even considering that what they had said wasn't true. some people hated being wrong about the couple stuff, and honestly she wanted to prove them wrong. she wasn't sure if they were right at the minute. she didn't care though, she just wanted to get the entire thing cleared up and completely out of her head and out of mind forever. she just felt like she should know who she liked. she shouldn't be open to other people's perceptions, and even worse she shouldn't consider what they were saying as true. no one knew what went on inside her own head aside from her. but lately her usual comfort words were not working, because she was mad that the other people just might be right about what was actually going on in her head. maybe she was just pretending to like levi to pass off her feelings for zach as purely platonic. or maybe all those people were wrong. maybe she really did like levi, and maybe zach was just her best friend. she punched the bag as hard as she could yet another time. she didn't want to be thinking about any of this.

the small smile was still placed evenly on her features, and in a little bit of a weird way, she actually was happy, or maybe the feeling was contentment. her small smile turned into a bit of a frown. she couldn't even figure out what emotion she was feeling. every little thing about her felt out of place. she didn't know what belonged and what didn't anymore. she hated confusion. she liked to know things, especially things that were going on inside her. "hi brook. listen, i just wanted to apologize about the annoying way i was in the chatroom. it was uncalled for, and i'm very sorry." the words came from seemingly no where, and she couldn't help but jump and spin around to face who the words came from. "oh, hi." she started, trying to put herself together enough to carry on a simply conversation with him. "it's alright. just..." she paused, trying to think of the right wording without telling him about everything that was going on in her life. "confusing." the small smile was back, that was a good word to use. it didn't really explain much, and left many questions to ask. so it was perfect for her, she didn't want to tell him much about what was going on inside her.

WORD COUNT 761
STATUS complete
LISTENING TO the offspring
TAGGED seth. (:
NOTES it's good. <3